Choosing a modern programming language

Each year I stall learning one of these concepts; angular.js, react.js, or vu.js each year - I wonder how it can improve my overall developing skills, learning a new javascript package - but each year I stumble and never actually complete a course or a FULL web project. I have ambition and drive - I just stumble - I don't know why I tell myself it's hard or that I don't understand, when I follow the udemy react.js course just fine and I completely see the implementations the context & the syntax it uses - and yet, I struggle???!!!

I'm trying to better understand this because I've given myself a hard deadline that I have a huge fear I'm going to fall short on because I've screwed off for too long, procrastinated too long, drank too much coffee, smoked too much cannabis. 

But was it all in market research or was it all to try to re-connect with the world? 

I try and go back to the web development world where I once belonged, I know it's what's familiar and true; 22 years of building my passion - and yet, I sit here faced with the app completely alone, completely terrified what if he knew so much more than I did. What if, I can't produce this app. I know the app works, {in my head} - but it all feels so insurmountable - it's been feeling this way for months... I know if I chunk it down into it's bits it will be easy and not so insurmountable but I haven't been able to cross any threshold to see the progress or the notion that it actually can work. 

I'm soft launching #stonahsapp in 15 days, this app is a social networking app/zooming for cannabis advocates who smoke medically, and recreationally...
All the developers have ever told me is that it's going to require a lot of money and a lot of time; I had the time... I wasted it! 

I like the pressure cooker response feeling I guess, I put myself in situations such as that and --- well, learning to change my response to things will be the next biggest lesson, hurdle to over come. 

I will continue to make blogging a habit because I do enjoy writing/texting/journaling, this makes it just a little more digital. I'll try to keep this platform as professional as possible but I'm still human with a silly side - so thanks for joining me on this new journey where I embrace blogging more!