Regroup, Re-evaluate, Redo?!…

For over a year life has been messy, been what happens too me not FOR me, now I realize the notion of this, it’s been in the execution of this for far too long. I take my walks every day, and every day the thought of Suga from BTS running a 12K marathon before a 3 hour concert later that day, keeps me swimming… And for what it’s worth he got me out of a 4 year depression, and 6 year going on 7 year grief cycle no one wants to be on…

So many fears, so many tears, so many disappointments, so many regrets, of not just doing the thing. Why my life hasn’t progressed further when I’m pushing the boulders up the mountain. When all hope is lost but know the disappointment is a reason… Was I really too lazy, was it really the bad habit… What self sabotaged this time, the regret of not buying the ticket to go see BTS, knowing it was irresponsible but maybe just the risk I needed to take to see how far God has my back?! Is my fear of loss – when I know the experience would have been one to remember for the life time.

Why I took the eye off the ball with America’s Bride, knowing how to build the momentum but knowing so little about Taylor…

Ever set back was meant to propel you and I didn’t take the bait this last time… I couldn’t conceive of it anymore… there’s no hope left, whether you play have faith on multiple songs or not it’s not showing up… I have patience, I watched that March date come and go and now… I’m waiting for the June date to pass by this weekend right now to pass bye to say told you so…